Monday, August 1, 2011

How love makes me feel

I've found the love I've been dreaming of. A man who sweeps me off my feet and takes my breath away just by walking in a room and shooting me his irresistible smile. He is always offering to help me and checking to see how my day is. I know these are small things but they're the things I've been searching for. He tells me how he feels about me and not that I'm insecure but I'm always wanted that constant reminder of admiration and affection. I don't have to beg him to tell me how he feels or what he's thinking, he just shares. Everything I've been looking for he is. 
He doesn't get upset with me when I do things without thinking first (aka really dumb stuff) nor does he think I talk too much. Our conversations are perfect and sincere. We can talk for hours on end about everything, going from a deep conversation to fits of laughter. To see him walking up to my front door or tightening bolts with a wrench makes my insides flutter. Everything about him drives me crazy. His beautiful heart and future visions. His hardwork ethic and sense of humor. He gets small town living and why I love it. He cares limitlessly about my well-being. And I care the same way. I'm willing to lay everything I have on the line to make him happy. The way he acts with his nieces and nephews and the love he has for his family. His strength and the way he can calm me down when I'm upset. Then when he reaches for me with the most amazing hands I've ever seen, with their scars and stories, their roughness from hardwork, their strength and yet a gentleness I have never known, I feel whole. I love the easiness of our relationship, effortless and perfect. We don't have to work at it, we just are who we are and it works. I'm in love with him, but it's more than that. There's something real, my heart constantly feels like it's going to explode when I'm with him, and when we're apart my thoughts are always with him and my heart is constantly being tugged towards him. I thought I was a romantic once upon a time but have become a cynic over the years as my heart kept getting broken but I believe again. I believe in true love and soulmates because there can't be any other reason than that for the way I feel. The reason I came to a small town that I knew nothing about wasn't only for my job and me doing what's best for me, it was to find him. The man I know I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life. It's been a month, but when you find everything you've ever needed in one person without looking or asking, you know.

This has not been a post that makes sense to anyone but me, but I had to tell the world. I am in love. I have never been happier in my entire life and I know it will only get better. I wanted to write down how I feel and this is as good as it's gonna get.

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