Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Never knew done would feel like this....

Today I took my last final as a college student. I will have a college degree in Business Management and Leadership Studies with a concentration in Entrepreneurship. I have landed a terrific job doing something I absolutely love. I have made numerous memories and friends, I've got good grades(3.87 GPA), I've won some awards and served in a few leadership roles in campus groups. I've had jobs and internships, travel experiences and I've lost and found myself along the way.

Right now, I should be elated with my accomplishments. Just the fact I have a degree and a job should be enough but I feel like something's missing. I keep thinking about the things I didn't do. I missed opportunities to study harder and get that 4.0 GPA.  I didn't complete the KU Honors Program, mainly because most of the classes that would have been perfect for honors courses I took in high school. I never had a role as President of a group. I have no significant other to be proud of my accomplishments. I don't know if I'm dwelling on the things I missed because it's over or if I'm genuinely disappointed in myself for not doing college bigger and badder. Is this what its supposed to feel like to reach a goal this big?  

Sorry for the sob fest...I really am proud of what I've done but part of me wonders if I could have been better and I don't know if this is normal. I'm also sorry I'm posting this more or less unedited. I hope you like it raw.

3 comments:

Laura said...

Don't be sorry! This is your blog and you can post whatever you want, however you want. I think it's totally normal to feel like that - It's human nature to look back and think about what you could've done differently instead of what you did right/well. But just know that I'm incredibly proud of you and I'm excited to see what the future holds for you! Love you dearly!

Abbey S said...

Silly girl. You've been far above average. Achieving any one of those things you listed might have meant missing out on another--get the 4.0, have no friends. Etc. You experienced life fully, in a well-rounded, wonderful way. You're amazing and I love you and am very proud.

Also, I was thinking Steak and Shake tomorrow night, if you're not busy? <3

SimoneC said...

Thank you both so much! love you!