Today I took my last final as a college student. I will have a college degree in Business Management and Leadership Studies with a concentration in Entrepreneurship. I have landed a terrific job doing something I absolutely love. I have made numerous memories and friends, I've got good grades(3.87 GPA), I've won some awards and served in a few leadership roles in campus groups. I've had jobs and internships, travel experiences and I've lost and found myself along the way.
Right now, I should be elated with my accomplishments. Just the fact I have a degree and a job should be enough but I feel like something's missing. I keep thinking about the things I didn't do. I missed opportunities to study harder and get that 4.0 GPA. I didn't complete the KU Honors Program, mainly because most of the classes that would have been perfect for honors courses I took in high school. I never had a role as President of a group. I have no significant other to be proud of my accomplishments. I don't know if I'm dwelling on the things I missed because it's over or if I'm genuinely disappointed in myself for not doing college bigger and badder. Is this what its supposed to feel like to reach a goal this big?
Sorry for the sob fest...I really am proud of what I've done but part of me wonders if I could have been better and I don't know if this is normal. I'm also sorry I'm posting this more or less unedited. I hope you like it raw.
3 comments:
Don't be sorry! This is your blog and you can post whatever you want, however you want. I think it's totally normal to feel like that - It's human nature to look back and think about what you could've done differently instead of what you did right/well. But just know that I'm incredibly proud of you and I'm excited to see what the future holds for you! Love you dearly!
Silly girl. You've been far above average. Achieving any one of those things you listed might have meant missing out on another--get the 4.0, have no friends. Etc. You experienced life fully, in a well-rounded, wonderful way. You're amazing and I love you and am very proud.
Also, I was thinking Steak and Shake tomorrow night, if you're not busy? <3
Thank you both so much! love you!
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