2013 in Review

Wow! It's been a while since I've written. Maybe 2014 will be the year I get my crap together and actually write here more regularly...maybe once a month. Looking back at 2013, my first reaction is that it sucked. It was a rough year, I had some of the lowest lows I've ever had in my life. But then the other day flipping through iphone photos (I have so many it was time to delete what I could before my phone runs out of memory,) I realized as rough as the bad parts were I had some really awesome things happen and really cool experiences. So I thought I would share my favorites here:

I went to Chicago in January to see my best friend John! Even though it was bitterly cold, it was a blast to see John and experience a new place! 

First flight in over 2 years, which is crazy since I used to fly twice a year somewhere.

John and I at the Bean

Having happy hour appetizers at The Telegraph! First time eating oysters!

Sole in a to-die-for sauce at Joe's Stone Crab

Chicago style pizza! 

 In March I went to Lindsborg, Kansas...a community with very strong Swedish heritage! Apparently 2013 was the year of eating delicious food (and my clothes are showing it at the beginning of this year) because I enjoyed Swedish meatballs and lignon berries! 

 

March also brought a trip to Canyon, Texas for the Ogallala Commons' Southern Plains Conference on recreation and leisure. Definitely something that I don't get a lot of. My friend Lindsey from DC came out to Leoti and went down with me! I went plein aire painting in Palo Duro Canyon! While it was a beautiful view my painting skills did not reflect that.

 In April, we hosted the first ever Wind and Wheels Festival! It was so stressful, but it was an awesome feeling to have it come together successfully! The same weekend that happened, I had a visit from Abbey! It was so much fun having her come see me even though it was so busy! She's the best friend a girl could ask for! 

 

Run Abbey Run! She's a beast when it comes to running! 

In May, we ventured to Manhattan for my little brother's graduation from K-State! It was an interesting weekend overall, but I'm so proud of my brother for all that he's accomplished! He's now at OU being all smart in geophysics. 

We like to be awkward. 

                                                      

June brought another trip to Texas for Ogallala Commons' intern orientation. It's surreal to see the growth that has occurred since 2007 in this program that I essentially helped start. June also brought two weddings: one of a friend and one of a cousin!

Community Interns!

Laura, Melissa and I were really close in high school!

Laura and Drew's cute guest book

Levi and I at my cousin's wedding!

In July, Levi and I celebrated our two year dating anniversary! I just love the fact that I came to this little town and found my perfect match. He still gives me butterflies and makes me laugh everyday.

In mid-July, two of my oldest friends came down to see me and go to a fundraiser concert! It was so nice catching up! 

In August my mom journeyed with me to the other end of the state to attend Joe Tinker Day in Muscotah, KS. It was definitely a unique experience, but it was a lot of fun! I also went to Colorado with Levi's family for his dad's birthday! I went hiking with the nieces and nephews and enjoyed nature! It was a much needed break! 

September was extremely busy with a trip to Oklahoma to see my brother, a Mexican Independence Day celebration (yes I know we're in America) and a day spent learning about the Northern Cheyenne Indians over in Scott City. My great-great-great uncle was killed and my great-great-great grandmother was raped by the Northern Cheyenne during their raid in the 1878. While it seems weird we were celebrating their history and making friends with them, it was really a way of healing wounds of the past. 

           

These tacos were so good! The Mexican community here celebrated their Independence Day in September and it was a blast! And again, the food was top notch!

In October I turned 25, but it really didn't seem to be that big of a deal. I mean I freaked out a little bit because my life's not where I thought it would be by 25. The best part of my birthday was this tiramisu made by my friend Tiffany! Oh my goodness it was awesome! 

I went to Lincoln with my brother and our friend for a mutual high school friend's wedding! It was the cutest little wedding I'd ever been too! So much joy and love! 

The beautiful bride and groom! 

The wedding dance was in the loft of a barn!

In November I went to Albuerquerque for an Ogallala Commons' Board Meeting and the Quivira Coalition Conference. The board meeting was good, the conference was not really my thing. The best part was eating at Papa Felipe's and stopping in Santa Fe to shop.

From the beginning of December to New Year's was the craziest I think my life has ever been. I packed my suitcase to leave for a meeting on December 4 and it didn't get unpacked again until just yesterday - January 4. Some of it was work, some of it was play, but it was a lot of go, go, go.

I went to Texas for the third time in 2013 for yet again, Ogallala Commons' training. I serve on their board of directors but will also be doing some contract work to get more internships going in Kansas and Nebraska. I ate Whataburger for the first time and stayed in a really cute bed and breakfast called the Yellow Rose Inn in Nazareth! It was awesome! If you're ever in the Texas panhandle stay here, it's worth it!

The next week my parents and I went to Dodge City for a Mannheim Steamroller concert! So much fun! 

And then after Christmas, Levi and I went to one of my best friend's weddings in KC. It was black-tie optional so Levi and I were dressed to the nines! The best part of this year was seeing three of my four best friends (that's allowed right?). The cool part is I met all four of them freshman year of college! That was almost 7 years ago!

We're the three best friends that anyone could have!

Gorgeous Megan!

We clean up well! Levi is exceptionally handsome in a tux! 

John and I excited for the wedding to begin!!

Whew, I feel better posting all these fun moments of 2013! Sorry it was a really long post, but I think it will help me get to blogging again, or at least have a better reflection of 2013. The highlights were definitely seeing Abbey, John, and Megan and celebrating 2 years with Levi! I can't wait to see what 2014 brings! 

When the elephant is sitting on your heart

Gee whiz, it looks like I've pretty much abandoned this here blog. Not that I haven't stopped by and thought about writing something from time to time, but it feels like inspiration strikes at the wrong time. I may think of 10 things I could write about when I'm driving in the car and by the time I get to a computer, all those thoughts are gone with the wind. I could write about my everyday life, but frankly, I'm less than impressed with it these days, so I'm sure you would be too. I've also realized that I really shouldn't use this as a diary, but sometimes I just need to know someone else is out there feeling the same way I do. And that feeling recently is that an elephant is sitting on my heart. 

Maybe more accurately described as hopelessness. I can't believe I am a little over a week away from turning 25 and I've done nothing inspiring or amazing since beginning my job at 22. I made my list of 25 things to do before turning 25 last year and I believe I've crossed off maybe 4 things. And it's not that I've been busy doing other exciting things that weren't on the list; I've become a slave to my job. The frustrating thing is I like my job, but I spend a lot of time dreaming of other things I could do. I have other things I want to be doing, but I just feel stuck and feel my life is not moving forward. I thought my list of 25 things would make me feel like I was actually living my life not just existing, but instead without achieving even half of things I just feel like I giant failure and that my life is a waste.

I also have begun my routine exiling and alienating of myself from people I've become close to in the attempt to avoid getting hurt. When this happens, I tend to find myself having no where to turn with problems and issues, and they build until they explode or I implode. Currently, they're manifesting themselves in an exceptionally emotional and irritable self that constantly feels paranoid and has an elephant sitting on my heart. You know that feeling of everything weighing down on you whether it should be your worry or not. But again it all starts because I don't know who to trust with the ugly secrets and problems, who to trust who won't judge or share these dark demons, that in most cases aren't that serious or evil but only seem to manifest themselves to be so the longer they're kept inside. The doubts that eat you alive from the inside out. 

All that being said, I have one person I can vent to and that of course is Levi, but I don't think that's fair. I just don't know where to turn besides him. I have two other dear friends that have escaped my routine alienation but sometimes I can't bring myself to tell them the dark, dark stuff because I want it to seem like everything is great in my life. 

Talk about a depressing post, but maybe this explains to my few followers why I haven't been posting. Has anyone else ever felt this way? 

The Perks of Housesitting

In the past three months I've taken up being a house sitter. The first few times I only did it for one family, but word got around and I was asked by someone else this week to housesit for them. So as I sit here, just thinking about how awesome this is, I thought I'd share.  For once a post and at that a positive one.

1) The extra cash- it never hurts to have a little extra cash on hand, especially for doing something as simple as watering plant, feeding and playing with the pets and watching tv.

2) Watching tv - I have lived here for almost two years and still don't have cable. I did finally get Internet and I do have the pleasure of watching Levi's tv. It is kind of nice to have total control of the remote though.

3) Playing with puppies - I know I have two adorable pups of my own, but it's always fun to play with other dogs. Until they chew on your shoe or sweater...but I guess my dog is no better.

4)House dreams- I enjoy examining floor plans and little details of the houses I stay in to figure out what I would like in a house someday. From this house, I would love a nice deck off the back like they have. And a nice pantry where the light comes on when you open it! So cool!

5) Pretend to be someone different - I get to pretend to be rich basically. And turn on the fancy switch lit fire place while I drink tea and read a book or watch tv. 

On the flip side, I miss spending time with my puppy and with Levi! And sometimes I get bored, but tonight I entertained myself by playing the piano. And even though I'm told to eat whatever I want, I usually eat the bare minimum and leave the pricey ingredients that I crave to their owners. 

Let's talk about the weather

So this weather sucks huh? Its hot then it's cold...kinda reminds you of a Katy Perry song. I hear my friends all across the state and the nation, complaining how they wish they could just wear their spring and summer clothes, or the weather ruins their plans for outdoor fun. Obviously that is a concern here as well but it goes even further than that. In my rural community it's really smacking us around. With the freeze, our wheat may not make it. Wheat is a very hardy crop, but right now, it's looking pretty rough. Wilted and yellowed from the freeze. Levi assures me if we get some heat and a little moisture things will perk up a bit. A small ray of hope. The fall crops, like corn and milo, don't stand a chance. A few farmers are saying they're not even going to try and plant unless we get a rain. And by rain I mean slow and steady for days...that just doesn't happen in Western Kansas. 

To hear someone complain about too much rain, makes me want to puke. Every time someone complains how this weather is messing with their clothing choices, I want to yell obscenities. This weather will not only affect my community by creating a tightening of budgets across the board. If the farmers lose money on their crops, they don't buy as many things or go out of town to get cheaper deals from WalMart. Then the local businesses aren't as willing to sponsor community events, youth fundraisers, local charities. Nor are they able to look at expansions and updates to their businesses. As one of those local non-profits who needs community support, things are about to get rough! 

On the other hand, this is going to affect the nation's food supply. Wheat prices will go up according to the laws of supply and demand. Without abundant fall crops, it will become more expensive to feed cattle. If you don't know, feedlots, like the big one in my county, rely heavily on corn and silage from local farmers to feed the cattle. I'll begin to hear my city "friends" complain about how their food prices are going up. Yeah remember when you were so concerned about your damn clothes? When all someone sees is concrete and people, I want to suggest they come visit me. I'll show them the land and the stars and air in a way they've never experienced it and then maybe they'll understand.

I'm so proud to be part of a farming community that is responsible for feeding America and the world. But as people complain about the inconvenience to their daily routine, I want them to remember the struggles we face. Our economy will take a hit, people worry constantly about the weather patterns while knowing there's not a damn thing they can do about it. The stress and risk of farm and ranch life is high, but it's rewarding. When it's all you've known and the land is part of your soul, you keep trucking, you stay attached and you make sure you have your damn winter coat handy.

Words of Wisdom: “Farming is a profession of hope” - Brian Brett

Making the switch

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

The retirement of Google Reader is making me switch all my blogs over. Clearly I'm not techie enough so if this looks like crap I'll fix it on the computer.

I hope you're having a wonderful weekend! I'm at home visiting my family and its wonderful!

The last month in review

Like usual my posts come at monthly intervals rather than weekly or daily. That's not to say I haven't tried. I have a lot of drafts and a small notebook with ideas of things I'd like to write about. It's just finding the time in my day to sit down and write. And usually the last thing I want to do at the end of the day is spend anymore time on the computer. Atleast not my work computer. And currently my personal laptop that is going on 6 years old will not charge. Blame it on the puppy chewing on the charger cord. So on top of other things I have to figure out how to get 6 years of documents off my computer....I thankfully have all the photos and music saved already.

In the past month and a week, I've been gone a lot for work it seems. The day of my birthday I had to head to Wichita for a 2 day conference for a grant project. It was an amazing conference, but it made for a very long week. I then did a few other short trips here and there and meetings. It's months like last month and this month that I really wish I had the balls to ask for either a raise or an assistant. I could work 12 hour days all the time if I wanted to, but I also want to be compensated for my work, plus a lot of the things that I put off until the last minute actually involve other people. Needless to say, keeping track and planning for 4 upcoming events, as well as overseeing three projects and working on one grant and consulting entrepreneurs and managing the financials is making me feel like I'm losing my mind. It's also making for one really grouchy Simone. People keep saying that I need to learn to say no or delegate, but a lot of what I'm working on are requirements or things that I would be glad to delegate if I had someone to delegate them to. So just say a little prayer that things finish up and go smoothly without me forgetting important details or have a serious breakdown.

In the past month, I've gotten no where with potty training Miss Charley. Levi and I are trying really hard but it seems near impossible. Especially when we're gone all day long and don't have jobs that we can take her with us. It breaks my heart and makes me feel like a bad puppy mom. It's even worse that Levi's mom got a little puppy who is younger than Charley and she's already got it down pat...but I guess it helps when you have a boss who will let you bring your dog to work. 

To keep from being a completely awful puppy mom I come out to Levi's almost every night to help take care of Charley...and well because frankly I'm pretty fond of being with Levi too. This however leaves my house in town as a turn-around point for me. A place to kick off my shoes and clothes and eat breakfast and shower. But never a place to sit down and relax or clean. On top of the added work stress, this back and forth, which place is my "home", I have a house that's a pig sty is really wearing on me. 

Levi's been my rock, my arm of reason and always there for me with his love and support and I couldn't be more blessed to have a man like him. He's been really busy with work too lately so most evenings we're couch potatoes and have just enough energy to catch either up on our days and cook supper before we veg out with the TV or video games or Pinterest. I can't tell how much I appreciate how hard of a worker he is. He works his arse off to get his job and other jobs around the shop done and done right. And I can't tell you how much more it makes me love him! 

In less whiny news, I went to a Cocktails and Canvas event in Leoti where I painted pumpkins. There were about 18 people there and everyone's pumpkins looked different which I thought was pretty cool! Here's me with the instructor, Pat Norton, who is a legit artist by trade:

I have made a little progress on my birthday list: I've made three new recipes already.

Loaded baked potato dip

Source: sweetpeaskitchen.com via Simone on Pinterest

Lazy Sunday Casserole

Source: kayotic.nl via Simone on Pinterest

Source: budgetgourmetmom.com via Simone on Pinterest

I sent someone a little birthday care package as my first random act of kindness...it wasn't necessarily random in the selection of people, but it wasn't someone I'd normally do that kind of thing for. I knew how much receiving something would mean to this person, and the thank you I received showed that I was right.

I've also booked my flight to go see John in Chicago in January!! I'm so excited! I've never been to Chicago and we're making a list of all the must see/eat/do things! I'm already certain I will put on at least 10 pounds while I'm there. I can't wait to have real Chicago pizza and we've got reservations for The Girl and The Goat. Please let me know if you have any suggestions for things to do in Chicago!

In other news, Levi and I were lumberjacks for Halloween! We help host this community Halloween party with about 10 other couples. My costume was insanely skanky but I guess I missed that phase in college so you have to do it once in your life, right?

Hopefully I'll be back to post again before the end of the month but the next two weeks are booked almost solid with work things and then it's my favorite holiday! :)